Each individual has a capacity to deal with the hard sucker punches of life. They often come in threes, don’t ya reckon? Seriously, when it’s bad, it seems like you just keep getting knocked down and it’s almost too much. That last thing can push you over the edge… but what I have learned is that life keeps showing you how much strength you have. It might be gut-wrenching, you may not be able to leave your bed for a couple of days, you might just want to eat all the chocolate and drink wine… but wow, these times definitely build you to be the person that says, yeah, bad can happen, but the days will move on and I will rise up again, stronger, with the capacity to take on more. The punches will seem small compared to what you’ve already experienced.
You are building a thicker skin of resilience.
It’s not easy! But there are ways to get through it gracefully (as gracefully as possible hehehe – some of those punches are like dangggggg, but you’ve got this!). I want to share some soul survivor tips with you, but first let me tell you what punches I’ve dealt with recently (if you follow me on instagram/facebook – you may already have an idea what’s going on).
I want to let you know that whatever you are going through, is relevant to you – we all have our own journey and different lessons so what I go through does not pale your experience or visa versa. What we experience is true to us, and no one can ever truly know how that feels for you.
I just want to share some of my own insight, as I feel like a freaking warrior for alllllll the stuff I’ve had to go through… and I’ve gotten back up, more graceful the next and next time. So yeah, you’ve got this! It is not the end of the world, I promise, although I know it may feel like it.
Sooooo just to fill ya’ll in – I am living in Australia on a student visa, doing my Masters’ in Marine Science. For a long time, I just have felt that this path has not resonated with me. I’ve worked as a Marine Biologist and as a diver, and it just was like, ehhhhh…. this is good and all, but not exactly me. In other words, I kept feeling a bit out of place. I’ve always been deeply connected to my spiritual side, into plant medicine, yoga, nutrition, all the things. I can go on and on with that side of myself, and feel so connected and honestly it’s all I want to learn about in my spare time. So, as I entered classes this semester, I would sit down to start doing some of the readings and I would have a panic attack and have nooooo desire whatsoever to do the readings. I was deeply uninterested. So, I decided I was going to make the change. I couldn’t succeed in those marine classes and pay another $30,000 to study things I did not want to embark on.
I was told by an international advisor that I’d be able to get approved leave for the semester for me to figure stuff out and get my head space together, essentially with the possibility to stay on the student visa (because normally you’d have to study full time to abide by the visa regulations). Nik-minute, boy, oh boy, was it a serious wake up call when three weeks later, the financial advisor met with me and told me that hell no, they were not going to support me in an approved leave. Okay… so this meant that my visa was going to be revoked. How much time did I have to stay in the country? The financial advisor told me perhaps two weeks… my mind was racing of what to do next, to the point of utter exhaustion. For the next couple of days I tried to figure out an alternative way to stay in the country. Hours and hours of being on the computer, filling out applications, paying for a lawyer… it seemed like I would have to leave. Then came the thoughts of where do I go? How will I sell my car and all my belongings? My brain was toasted from trying to figure out everything on my own.
I finally just felt like I had to give up. It felt wrong that I would have to leave this country that is my home. After eating two peanut-butter-cups I had made (because you know! comfort food!), I was passed out on my bed face down in the middle of the day (I never never fall asleep during the day…espeically face down lol) due to all the mental exhaustion and stress. I woke up to a phone call from one of my besties. She listened to what was going on and from an outside perspective, was able to offer me alternatives to stay, and basically just lifted my spirits up again. After getting off the phone with her I had my mojo back – I refuse to take no for an answer. Within the next 10 minutes I found the answer…. honestly God sent. I drove into the city, 4:00 on a Friday, to be with the team that would help me stay, and understood that it was a dire matter and made me feel like finally I was understood. They could see how much I loved Australia, and they would help me pull all the strings and figure out the ways for me to stay. Divinely guided, baby! As always.
Sometimes we think we can do it all on our own… we just need to get out of our way and stop forcing things! If things are meant to work out, they will – although it might not look exactly like you had pictured.
I left feeling like the weight of the world had finally lifted off my shoulders, yet I still had some major tension in my head. Since I was in the city, I decided to treat myself to a celebratory dinner – of course where I made a friend easily as we both enjoyed an asian dinner solo at the bar (my fave kind of friendships to make… I’ve made several friends like this where we meet up again years later in another country… awesome. Don’t be afraid to say hi to the person sitting next to you!). After this high, I went to the float centre I intern at for a float, to destress, and have some tea hangs on this Friday night.
Boy, oh boy, does the universe like to try me… to see how much I can take. Around 10, I walk out of the float centre feeling so much better. I open my car door to find that the passenger car window had been smashed into and my purse I had left in the car (I just wanted to leave it there so that I could leave the stress of my day behind as I floated) was stolen. I stayed up the next couple of hours figuring out the next plans… cancelling cards from AUS and the USA, reporting the fraud to my bank and the police, telling my friend to wander the alley’s near the incident -where he actually found my discarded purse (from India… so precious to me) and expensive wallet. There were silver linings, like finding those items again, actually still having my lifeline to the world – my phone – and being able to recover most of my things.
But damn, when my friend returned my purse to me in the morning and I remembered that my dive computer (worth $1000) was in the bag and was stolen… man, was that just a low blow. It had been in my bag because I was trying to get the battery replaced.
Okay – so that’s the recap. Intense… super intense. But it is not the end of the world. Dealing with the car was not the worst because I had already been dealing with soooo much stress so it paled in comparison to the visa and staying in Australia… that was much more stressful. So at that point, I can only laugh at my luck, honestly. I feel like this can only happen to me. I have been dealt so many hard cards in this life and yet I still am one of the happiest people you’ll meet, with a glowing smile. It makes me so much stronger and resilient.
So here’s those tips peeps! You can get through anything. Life can throw them curveballs but if you got some tools in your belt buckle, you’ll be able ride that wave. I’ve been thinking of surfers heaps during this time, they get knocked down but keep getting back up to ride that wave, each time getting better at riding that magical, ever-changing wave.
YOU’VE GOT THIS;
- Bake – so deeply therapeutic. Eat all the cacao. Consuming cacao can help with depression and stress due to being densely packed with magnesium, iron and antioxidants. My fave brownie recipe at the moment is by The Balanced Blonde – find the article here; https://www.thebalancedblonde.com/2018/05/28/salt-oil-sugar-free-choco-tahini-brownies-a-k-a-the-healthiest-fudgiest-brownies-you-can-find/. Yum… so good and healthy you can literally eat them anytime, all the time (and they’re vegan, of course). I legit could just eat the batter it is so damn good.
- Surrender to the community around you. Often when we’re in our darkest times, we become reclusive – which is all good and well, but in order to rise up after taking some time to heal and cry it out – surrender to the community that is still strong and has your back. In hard times we can feel soooo alone. If you open up about what is going on for you you’ll find that maybe someone else is going through something hard as well, or is just there to say you’ve got this, I know how hard it must be. The tribe has our back. Often in my times of most scarcity, greatest despair, I am shown how much of a loving network I have…. and the generosity and advice and love people have is insane and just reminds me, this world is good. You are not alone.
- Nature is medicine. Take off those shoes and take a walk on the beach. Listen to the waves. Swim, let the ocean wash everything away. Immerse yourself in the woods. Let the flowers say, it’ll be okay. Let the Earth speak to you. This too shall pass.
- Move that bodaaaay of yours!!! As tempting as it is to lay in bed, eat dinner in bed, and not see the light of day in these hard times… you’ll just feel worse and worse if you don’t move that body – get those endorphins releaaaased baby! It’ll look differently for everyone. My fave at the moment is going for a run… feckkkk does that just feel so so good. I feel so amazing afterwards. My thoughts are silenced. I can run that anger, sadness, and despair right out of me. Let me know your faves!
- Treat yo-self! For me that looks like enjoying a yummy coffee. I love love the taste and it is just like a warm hug. At the moment I love steeping black coffee from a local roaster and then adding in a half teaspoon of reishi mushrooms for adaptogenic properties for helping deal with stress – a fave of mine is found here: https://amzn.to/2U7yimG, and then adding cinnamon, MCT oil, and sometimes cayenne pepper. So yummmmmmy!